|
|
|
|
Job Applicant Follies |
Y’all ever wonder why some people seem to have such a hard time finding gainful employment? Well, after reading this column you may better understand some of the reasons why. This week I’m going to share some actual comments from selected employment applications that have been submitted to some of the companies that I‘ve worked for in the past. Y’all might think that I’m kidding or exaggerating, but I swear on a stack of Elvis CDs that the following comments are as true as they can be....
On the criminal history section -
“I have only done a few light crimes that I have been arrested for, nothing that has gotten me in the paper or anything.”
“I hit a police officer, but it will be proven out to be a big mistake.”
“I stole money from the job, got busted, and did some time. You have to like that I’m honest about it.”
On why they left their last job -
“They picked on me just because I had missed work six or seven times in the last month due to family reasons. A man doesn’t become a father every day, and I wanted to watch my woman’s stomach grow, so I did.”
“I whistled at a woman during my probationary period who turned out to be my bosses’ wife.”
“I didn’t like the pay, I didn’t like the benefits, I didn’t like my boss, so I told him.”
“It takes too much time to look for a new job while you have an old job, and since my old job stinks, I am going to use my daylight time to look for another.”
On what hours they’re available to work -
“I’m a young man, and you don’t want to mess up my social life by making me work at night. My women won’t like that one bit.”
“My fiance expects me home each day at five pm sharp to make him dinner, so we will need to work around that.”
“Can I just give you a slip of paper each week that tells you what hours I can work?”
On why they want a job with us -
“My neighbor Joe Blow works for you, and he’s not half the man I am. You’d be better off to send him home and call me in to work for you.”
“My friend Jambo works for you, and he never comes home sweatin’, so I figure your company is the place for me.”
“I can’t draw assistance until they put through the paperwork, so I need something to tide me over right now.”
“Right now I work for my in-laws. The money is bad, and my mother-in-law has a thicker mustache than mine. And she’s the type that likes to kiss you a lot.”
“I worked for XYZ fast food chain, gained a lot of weight, and my boss let me go because I couldn’t fit into my work uniform anymore.”
“Your dad dated my mom, and I’m sure you don’t want that to get out.”
Y’all see what I mean? The really bad thing is that I could have written another ten pages chock full of these type comments. Honestly, you have to wonder what in the devil people are thinking when they put this kind of stuff on their employment applications. I choose to think that they are just not thinking clearly at the time, and I think it’s best to just leave it at that. Life is life, I suppose. If you think about it, though, there is a bright side to all of this - if you happen to be among those who are out there looking for a job, know that you will pull ahead of some of your competition by simply filling out your employment application in a neat, coherent manner. If you do that, you might even be able to get around the fact that you need a job simply because, as one applicant so succinctly put it, “... my old Aunt Gertie is winkin‘ and smilin‘ at me a lot these days, and I think that I might need to get out of the house a little more than I am...” | | Author Info: Ed’s latest book, “Rough As A Cob,“ can be ordered by calling River City Publishing toll-free at: 877-408-7078. He’s also a popular after dinner speaker, and his column runs in a number of Southeastern publications. You can contact him via email at: ed3@ed-williams.com, or through his web site address at: www.ed-williams.com. |
|
| 30 Most Recent
Articles : |
 artistic girl model artistic girl model or muscle nude video or femdom bdsm femdom or gay escort services, 803972, compaq c714nr, 65986, algebra graph systems of inequalities, kkialz, beryllium bohr model, ovlycl, lewisto[ Read Article] aKICPGsQsh Your site is very interesting and usefuls., naked man pictures, 72711, national lotto, cmzxe, naked pregnant women gall, %PPP, shemales xxx, kwrqgz, virgin male free porn, 854089, gilliam center columbia sc, 8[[, nelson county times va, 752, mandy saxo rapidshare, >:-[ Read Article] oRkHfYXCCTqplyzuoZu comment2, Free Naked Women Picture
, 003, Free Nude Girl Pics
, 6124, Free Naked Girls Movies
, qqy, Free Horse Sex Vids, qorqc, Free Kama Sutra Videos, :((, Gay Black Men Gallery, esyqf, harcourt realestate southport, tyw, family nude beach photos, 5834, in[ Read Article] aeXsXSWL Excellent site, added to favorites!, medical passwords oxford, ald, ladies strip poker, 265474, proviron to buy in urope 25 mg, 72558, proviron psychological, >:[[, <[ Read Article] CJAmdOScbTwoU comment6, sex in daytona beach, xqwnsz, academy colorado springs co, :PPP, harness dickey pi[ Read Article] xykWvuMH Nice webpage, lovely, cool design., hard gay porn, 26545, fishing jobs, 161722, holiday[ Read Article] BStYxXxkWm comment2, nini blackburn, nrmro, senior center summerville sc, 320, makassed hospital beirut le[ Read Article] JuogFgCfVf Nice site keep up the good work., sexy model flower tucci pictures, agebx, chloroformed and drugged girls, gcb, [ Read Article] EomxmZcqGXloFlMKN comment3, femdom stories office, 027, boobed lesbian, =[[, nude male pics free, 346702, west bend paradise theaters, =O, pagosa springs businesses, 316, auto loans somerset k[ Read Article] euUAeaxBnWw For those to whom it is interesting., wap games free download fifa, [url="http://www.google.ca/notebook/public/13093380528913994734/BDQJ1SgoQs66knrsj"]wap games free download fifa[/url], http://www.google.ca/no[ Read Article] TdyDpbeBQFhyjUaaU comment1, plymouth mn pedicure, :-]]], carmel valley women s center, 303, gumbo s[ Read Article] IJxEmkZelkjtc Keep up this great resource. best greetings., nude artist models, :-]]], preteen candid model, %DDD, big cock deepthroat, %-]], celebrex drug information stroke vioxx, 77544, usenext download, 967903, nhac viet download, %P, hair bangs premonition, 135, concert nudity, 1138, naughty birthday ecard, 26047, lonza kim keyser, oaqb, willowbrook brighton mi, 95599, tamagothchi v4 tricks and che[ Read Article] kFyxIjCuHLNlQv comment4, auto armour seat cover, http://www.radioum.com.br/img/7/blog.php?p=8360#1 auto armour seat cover, lcc, delray beach auto trailor hitch, http://www.remax-ne[ Read Article] uNAvObonUfld comment6, sacremento escorts, 8-[[, lifestyle builders loveland, =-), slut written in marker, xilxww, <[ Read Article] gyZJzigisfgCiJ comment4, manoir l esplanade quebec city, 146750, 98 dodge 318 thermostat location, 71812, albany oh histroy, 2[ Read Article] ZvSaThqfPAdj You have a very nice site. Other interesting resources, average size penis, :-), nude singles, dqi, World Top
Stories : |
Killing their neighbors: Genocide's foot soldiersAdolf Hitler, Pol Pot, Slobodan Milosevic. They are household names, infamous for masterminding genocide. But who were the foot soldiers who did the dirty work? In many cases they were the friends, neighbors and co-workers of those they raped, slaughtered and buried alive. "The truth is that we all have the possibility for genocidal behavior," says Harvard psychiatrist Robert Lifton.<div class="feedflare">
<a href="http://rss.cnn.com/~f/rss/cnn_topstories?a=wB8z4eKg"><img src="http://feedproxy.google.com/~f/rss/cnn_topstories?d=41" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://rss.cnn.com/~f/rss/cnn_topstories?a=kv0uFLRa"><img src="http://feedproxy.google.com/~f/rss/cnn_topstories?d=50" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://rss.cnn.com/~f/rss/cnn_topstories?a=Y3uoI6oa"><img src="http://feedproxy.google.com/~f/rss/cnn_topstories?i=Y3uoI6oa" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://rss.cnn.com/~f/rss/cnn_topstories?a=YMxPJudH"><img src="http://feedproxy.google.com/~f/rss/cnn_topstories?d=52" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://rss.cnn.com/~f/rss/cnn_topstories?a=FqAbP4J4"><img src="http://feedproxy.google.com/~f/rss/cnn_topstories?i=FqAbP4J4" border="0"></img></a>
</div><img src="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/rss/cnn_topstories/~4/LMe3VevlSss" height="1" width="1"/>
|
|
|
|
|
